Today while teaching the final “Basic Training for Couples” class, the participants were encouraged to NOT be a MOLE in their own relationship. Sometimes outside forces aren’t the problem. Sometime the problem is what WE are doing to our own relationship.
When I think of a ‘mole’, I think of someone who presents themselves like they are a part of your team, but they have actually been placed there to spy on you for your enemy. The job of the mole is to sabotage whatever plans you have. They want to get as much information that they can, so that they can report to your enemy, ultimately for your destruction. So I define a ‘mole’ as a camouflaged enemy!
The class participants were challenged to NOT be a camouflaged enemy in their own relationship. In other words they were encouraged to not be the one that sabotages the ‘vision’ or ‘purpose’ of the relationship!
But as I was sharing that principle, I was struck by the fact that we can’t begin to teach people not to be a mole in their relationship, when so often they are a mole in their own personal lives!
Think about it…How often do we talk ourselves out of opportunities? How often do we tell ourselves that we aren’t enough…that we can’t do it…that someone else is more equipped? How often do our own negative thoughts paralyze us and cause us to become stagnant? We are a camouflaged enemy in our own lives! We are sabotaging our own plans!
Before we can start working on not destroying our relationships, we FIRST have to be intentional about not destroying our own lives! Just like in our relationships, sometimes outside forces aren’t the problem. Sometimes it’s what we are doing to ourselves.
I challenge you to pay attention to your own self-talk & destructive habits this week. And if you find that you subtly or very obviously are a camouflaged enemy in your life…start IMMEDIATELY to make a change.
I could give you steps to begin the process of changing any ‘mole-ish’ (did I just make up a word?) behaviors in your life, but I want to keep this brief.
However one of the quickest ways you can begin to change negative self talk is by creating a quick and easy mantra that you can say when you recognize ‘mole-ish’ (there I go again…) behavior. It needs to be simple, easy to remember and brief…and something that you actually believe!
This year my ‘mantra’ is “it all works together”. I have a tendency to get so thrown by life circumstances that reminding myself of Romans 8:28 (in a quick and abbreviated way) keeps me on course. And it keeps me from speaking negatively about my situation which often starts a very rapid downward spiral in my mind and in my emotions. And ultimately it affects my motivation to keep moving towards destiny.
So again…I encourage you to check yourself (‘before you wreck yourself’ – - I couldn’t resist…) and identify if you are a mole in your own personal life. Determine if you are actually sabotaging your own plans!
And then…and only then…can you begin the process of changing any negative seeds that you’ve sown in your relationship.
Much love!
- Robin!
Thank you so much! Awesome!